Taiwan
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The Taiwan Diaries
Volume 4
(11.23.02)
Well I've been in Taiwan for three months now. I can't believe it has been that long. I also can't believe that it is almost December and I'm still walking around in a tank top and shorts. And you think Texas is hot! This is unbelievable! While Texas has summer and about 2 weeks of spring and fall and maybe 1 week of winter, I've discovered Taiwan only has 2 seasons: hot and hotter. Unfortunately I've been told that I have not yet experienced "hotter". And if August wasn't "hotter" then I'm am really scared for this
summer and I'm a Texas girl. I should be used to the heat! Oh well, here is Volume 4. Enjoy!
Barber Shop Blues
Here in Taiwan there is this wonderful thing called hairwashing. Basically you can go into any salon and for about $3 they will wash your hair, blow it dry and style it. This may not sound enticing, especially to you guys, but it's great! Basically they massage your shoulders and then your head for half an hour. Ahhhhh! If you know me at all, you know I LOVE to have my head rubbed--especially when I have a headache. So on the days when I get a migraine I just go get my hair washed and I feel so much better. Okay, now to the funny part of the story. So there are salons everywhere here. The signs say Beauty or Salon and they have the spinning barber shop poles outside. So I was out one day and I decided to go have my hair washed. I found a salon (not my usual one) and went in. The ladies told me it would be about $8 and I walked out because I knew I could find it for much cheaper. Across the street there was a huge building that said Beauty and also had a barber shop pole outside. So I walked in there. However, I wasn't greeted by the smell of hair dye and the noise of hairdryers. Instead there were 4 girls with practically no clothes on behind a counter and loud music playing. There were bunches of men sitting on couches waiting for something and looking at the Asian Playboy. After I gawked for a few seconds I ran out. Apparently in Taiwan (and many other Asian countries), some salons aren't really salons. Here in Taiwan, if the building says Beauty and there is a neon colored barbershop pole outside, then that, my friend, is a brothel. Nice huh! At least now I know where I can get a day job! (just kidding)
My Little Stalker
So some of my little boy students have crushes on me--maybe because I look like Nicole Kidman. They bring me candy and fruit. They try so hard to talk to me in English during the break time and they stare at me. It's really really cute. One little boy, though, has gotten a little obsessed. For those of you who don't know, I got a second job. I work two mornings a week at a public junior high school. These students are all about 13 and their English is very minimal. I teach one conversation class on Wednesday and one on Thursday. Basically I help them with intonation. It pays really well and is super easy. One boy there named Tommy follows me around. During the break period when the other teachers and I go hang out in the office, he stands outside the door and waves at me.
"Teacher Shellie, Teacher Shellie, nice to see you." Now it's gotten to the point when he knows what time I come to school on Wednesday and Thursday and his little group of friends is waiting for me at the gate. "Teacher Shellie, Teacher Shellie, good morning." It's so funny. The other two English teachers are good friends of mine and we place bets on how many minutes it will take once the break bell rings for Tommy to be at the office door waving at me. The current fastest is 1 min 20 sec.
Shellie's Sexy Malaysian Man
Okay I teach a class of 15-17 years olds called PG. I think the books for PG were written in 1970 because the stuff in it I'm supposed to teach them is bizarre. Since they know a lot of vocabulary already in the PG level you just teach "useful" American slang. Their definition of useful and mine are a little different. We teach them: streak, bop, spit, screw up, go nuts, make out, tickle, giggle, upchuck and spank. Great huh!? So in Lesson 10 or so they have to write a story about their teacher using all the verbs they've learned so far in that level. So here is the story one pair of students wrote about me:
Shellie is on her way to Malaysia. She will meet a sexy man who loves to make out with girls in front of lots of people. The man will teach her how to bop or spank people when you think they are a fool. She develops a bad habit after they live together for three weeks. Shellie and the man will be giggling when they streak across the city. Shellie will upchuck when the man tickles her. After all that, Shellie will be going nuts when she returns home because she will miss the man.
Pretty amusing! The school asked all the students to type their stories and now they are posted on the wall at school! All the parents can read about my sexy Malaysian man who taught me how to streak.
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
Last week I decided to go to a new department store(shopping mall) that had been recommended to me because it is nice. I realized after 5 seconds that the girl who told me it was nice really meant expensive. Here's the run down on the stores: Burberry, Cartier, Tiffany's, Escada, Gucci and Salvatore Ferragamo to name a few. I mean, I make decent money but I don't think I could ever buy anything there. The scarves alone cost more than $200. I looked a little out of place too because I'm wearing khaki capri pants, a plain black tee shirt, running shoes and carrying my black school satchel. All the people in the mall were dressed like they shopped there all the time. So I'm walking through the store
basically gawking at all the stuff when I come to Chanel. There was a really cool shirt in the window and I wondered how many million Taiwan dollars the thing cost so I walked in. But when I walked in some lady handed me a book and escorted me to a chair. I had no idea what was going on but there were about 60 chairs all lined up. Within 20 minutes they were filled with very, very nicely dressed women who had given the ladies at the door invitations. So somehow I'm at an invitation only event at Chanel wearing capri pants and running shoes. I'm still wondering what in the world is happening when some women stands up and starts talking in Chinese and explaining the things in the book I was handed. It was full of pictures of clothes with descriptions next to them in Chinese. Then before I knew it music started and everything in the book was on a model walking in front of me. Why they let me in, I still don't know but I saw Chanel's new spring line. It was actually pretty cool and I got tea and cake at the end. Plus, I don't think I will ever get to go to a fashion show at Chanel again in my life. So that was definitly a memorable experience.
Factoid
You learn all kinds of things living in Taiwan if you read the local English paper or Asian Newsweek. So I decided to enlighten you on the interesting facts. So for this month...Did you know that Taiwan is the second most populated country in the world? It is second only to Bangladesh and this isn't even a true figure. You see the island of Taiwan is only half inhabited. No one lives on the east coast because it is too mountainous so the people per square mile figure is a little off since almost half of Taiwan's square miles have no people. Just for reference, my city (not the outlying areas) is about the size of Waco, I guess. You can drive across it in 20 min on a scooter going 35 miles per hour. Within my small city there are 2.5 million people. And that doesn't even include the outlying areas. Basically, it's pretty crowded.
Well, I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving. I have to work and can't watch any football. On the bright side, finally I don't have to eat stuffing!